Awesome! ... Crap!

My wife and I went to the Finger Lakes Fiber Arts Festival yesterday. While there, she decided that she was ready to buy a couple of sheep. I gave in and told her that it would be okay as long as we could wait to take possession of the sheep until a month or so down the road...

Awesome! I've been wanting sheep for four years! ... Crap! I'm not ready!

We've been planning on getting sheep for more than four years. We've purchased books on raising sheep, talked to flock owners, gone to livestock shows... Believe it or not, we've prepared ourselves the right way. The only hold-up has been my insistence that we wait until our pastures are in tip-top condition. As of this moment, some are in decent condition while others are not. I have been creating pastures from blocks of old vineyard - removing wire, cutting down the grape stumps, and mowing over them. It works pretty well, but it takes a few years for the grass to fill-in (and choke out all of the weeds). I had hoped for another full year before we bought any sheep. Now I have about one month. To top it off, the pasture/grazing specialist at my local extension office - a man for whom I have great respect - has moved on to bigger and better things. A visit from him might have helped put me at ease.

I'm not stressing because we don't know what we've gotten into - we know exactly what we've gotten into. We bought the breed of sheep that we decided upon four years ago from the farm that we decided upon two years ago. I'm stressing because now - as I begin to look at things like removing poisonous plants from my pastures - I'm seeing how imperfect my pastures are.

Most sources indicate that sheep will avoid poisonous plants unless they have nothing else to eat. Unfortunately, that gives me little comfort. Though the core pastures are in pretty good shape, it still scares the hell out of me. I'm afraid that the only remedy for my fear is having healthy sheep after a couple of years of grazing...

I guess that getting livestock is like having children: you might as well do it now because there will never be a perfect time.

God save the sheep.

Oncorhynchus mykiss

This picture doesn't do them justice. The Rainbow Trout that my father and I caught two weeks ago were beyond beautiful. After hiking some of the Finger Lakes Trail, we decided to check out the stream that babbled next to the small gravel parking lot. Some old-timers had told me that the stream contained big Brown Trout or small Brook Trout (depending on who you talked to), but no one had fished it in years. When my father and I peered into a small hole, we saw neither of those species. Instead, we saw nearly a dozen small Rainbow Trout.

The next day, we went back to the stream with our fishing poles. After an hour we had fished less than 50 meters of the stream, but we had caught and released 17 of the most beautiful Rainbow Trout that you will ever find. No longer wanting to disturb such a magical place, we left, thankful of a wonderful experience.

America: Why I love her.

I value...

...the fact that my wife does not have to wear a veil in public.
...the fact that my wife can choose to wear a veil in public.

...my right to defend myself from attack using whatever means I choose.
...my right to vote for political representatives.
...my right to criticize my government.
...my right to own private property.
...my right to be agnostic.
...my right to life.
...my right to liberty.
...my right to associate with whom I choose.
...the opportunity to increase my wealth.
...a society in which upward mobility is possible.
...my country's affluence.

...choice. Something increasingly restricted by local, state, and federal governments.

Withdrawl Date

Well, maybe it's not a withdrawl date but it's definitely not a date to throw a party.

For more information, click here.

Apparently we'll still be a plurality, just not a majority. It still sucks to be a minority, ask African-Americans in the South or Mexican-Americans in the Southwest.

I wonder if there will ever be a massive return of Whites to Europe? Perhaps Australia? ...just a question that popped into my head.

What to type?

A couple of months ago I learned that one of my old friends had committed suicide. I've been wanting to write about it for a while, but I've had neither the words nor the inclination.

The whole thing upset me a great deal. First of all, I hadn't spoken to this friend, a girl whom I had dated, since I became engaged to be married back in 2004. I believed that she still had feelings for me and, out of respect for my wife, I distanced myself from her. I would like to say that it was difficult for me to let go of the relationship, but it wasn't. That is not to say that I did not have a strong affection for my friend. Though I no longer harbored romantic feelings toward her, we shared one of the closest and most unique friendships that I have ever had. So, when I googled her a couple of months ago and found a memorial page, I was shaken.

I contacted some of her friends and found out that she had committed suicide a month after we stopped talking. A number of questions raced in my head. Did the end of our relationship lead her to commit suicide? What if I had not ended our relationship? What if we had gotten back together? I felt a number of emotions as well. Guilt for ending our relationship. Sorrow at losing a friend. Sadness that she would not get to experience the joy of having a child.

I thought about death. Since I abandoned Christianity, I have avoided the topic of religion, and the finality of her death was terrible. For the first time, I was confronted with the death of a friend my own age.

I was extremely depressed for about a week, but I slowly began to move on. Now, two months later, I have stopped thinking about her on a daily basis. Still, when I see girls who resemble her, I hope that, somehow, it has all been a bad dream - that she is still living in Boston and making people laugh with her crazy humor.

I worry that there will come a day on which none of us think of her, and perhaps that's the saddest irony. She committed suicide because she felt invisible and alone, and now she is.